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"i grew up with a view of myself as resilient. but i believed i was strong IN SPITE of my family's deficiencies and the adversities we suffered; it was only in later years that i came to realize that my strengths emerged BECAUSE of those experieinces. as researchers have discovered, resilience is forged THROUGH adversity, not despite it. life crises and hardship can bring out the best in us as we rise to meet the challengees. as albert camus wrote, 'in the midst of winter i finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.'" - froma walsh, from strengthening family resilience


vampire prom and other sundries

midwinter was fabulous.
i stayed with the wonderful xerotic and am grateful for the lack of hotel BS, the quiet sleeping space, and the working thermostat as well as his gracious time and hospitality.

i had a ton of fun at the event. charlie lost a mentor, gained at least one teacher and a fight for humanity, got some new weapons and lore, burned a ton of willpower, fought with infernals....it was great.
i got to meet up with old friends, make some new ones, stay up way too late, and gain a whole lot of new motives for role-play.

coming home to my cats has been good too. i have gotten skype working and my class schedule ironed out, even though some of my other plans fell through.

teeth - vampire stories review

Teeth: Vampire TalesTeeth: Vampire Tales by Ellen Datlow

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

some of these stories fail to make you think or engage, but most of them are well worth the read!
unless you are partial to neil gaiman's poetry, don't pick it up for his name alone.
a few of the stories really tapped in to unpleasant aspects of vampirism, making them a) compelling enough to give me delicious creepy dreams and b) gratifyingly not centered around teen sex fantasies.

my favorites were sit the dead - by jeff ford, late bloomer - by suzy mckee charnas, transition - by melissa marr and why light by tanith lee....although truthfully most of the stories at the end of the book were great.
disappointments from neil gaiman (i just don't like his poetry), emma bull (same problem), and catherynne m. valente (who i usually love, but this story just didn't grab me).

View all my reviews


the end of this semester

has come too damn fast.
too damn fast.

i still have about half my xmas shopping to do, to say nothing of wrapping and mailing.
my internship ends tomorrow.
i have to update my resume for my exit interview, finish a paper due thursday night, make soap, and get the oil changed on my car.
and then there is the unfinished xmas knitting.
this season is always so busy, but i usually get started on it sooner.
i need someone to stop time and let me catch up.

everything about the end of this week

will be awesome. except for possibly compiling an annotated bibliography for my presentation tomorrow.
i am no longer sick.
i am actually caught up with schoolwork to the point where i am working on things that are not yet due.
i now have a microwave, so i can heat things up without using my oven and stove (hooray!).
i have my dresden files game tonight.
tomorrow i am scheduled to have my netflix streaming ability restored, make banana bread, present a fairly easy workshop in class on burn-out and self-care, and then hang out with the wonderful jenny and kearn and try to get my speaker system working.
friday i hang out with selkie_b and go check out larp for the first time in about three years.
saturday is spinning group and sunday is an ice cream social.
so many good things. i have too many blessings to count them all.

the dome home

i am officially moved in. :)
i woke with a sore throat that plagued me through the day. none-the-less i am very happy.
something in the realm of 20 people came to help out. i am truly grateful to have such supportive friends. shawn and thistle brought cedar and pheonix and having delightful little kids to goof off with made the whole thing even more joyful.
the cats stayed in the spare bedroom most of the day getting used to strange smells and sounds.
selkie_b and davebooth brought fireworks and we set them off in the driveway. victoria made a marvelous cake, jenny spoiled me by painting my toenails for me, and kearn kirkwood put paper numbers all over my celing, making it truly look like the inside of a die.
my friends rule!

in any case, i promised pictures.Collapse )


good day yesterday

my friend kerry has wound up in charge of this organization called geek physique.
she arranges physical activities that appeal to geeky people, and she is quite good at it.
among the offerings have been themed hikes (under the ministry of silly walks), yoga quest, zombie apocalypse nerf dart tag, ceilidh dancing, tai chi, aikido, and other cool stuff.
i have only gone to the dancing and hiking, but the other stuff sounds brilliant, and i have met a lot of great new people.
so yesterday was a halloween themed hike that encouraged people to dress as characters from horror movies. kerry and i went as father merrin and reagan from the exorcist, which was quite fun. there were also vampires, tigger, some zombies, a mummy finger (it's complicated), and a gumby.
after the hike we had a bonfire, and the kids toasted marshmallows and made s'mores and everyone talked incessantly and i collected awesome rose hips with which i will later make tea.

then i went over to a friend's house and we talked until 4 in the morning.
she has been through much of the same kinda stuff i am going through.
she talks and makes me laugh, and doesn't mind that i'm currently inclined to hug everyone in sight.
mostly though, she encourages me to talk. i don't feel like my tangents bother her. i don't feel like i'm going to offend her. i don't feel like i'm boring her. i don't feel like she is impatient for me to shut up so that she can talk next. i don't feel like she is judging me.

friendships like this are a gift.

i am grateful for her, and for all of you who have reached out in friendship to me.
you are a blessing in my life.

why is it

that i feel guilty whether or not things are my fault?
i am so trained into unhealthy patterns.

i am so ready for my own space.
it can't come soon enough.

the good news and the bad news

you get the bad news first.
ross and i are separating.
this has been a long time in coming.
it hurts.
a lot.
we are very VERY different people.
and i have not been posting a lot on here about it because i don't view lj as a place to air dirty laundry.
i still love him. and he is not a bad man. so while i deeply appreciate and need support, please don't respond to me with comments blaming him. we are both to blame. we both have reasons to be angry at the other. we both have reasons (i hope) to still care.

friends and family have been amazing for me through this, and i am deeply grateful
the good news
is that i have found a place to live.
it is closer to most of my friends in the area.
i am a little bit in love with it.
it is small and cute and womb-like. 2 bdrm, 1 3/4 bath, loft, walkout basement.
there will be pictures as soon as i am re-established.
i can move in any time after the 31st.

a truly fabulous weekend

and very much needed.
the girls and i went fiber camping this weekend! i didn't have anything to dye this time, but i brought some knitting and a drop spindle and that seemed to be enough. victoria, kerry, renee and i realized we have officially been doing this for 4 years now. other people have come or not come, but the group of the four of us have become something of a core group. we always have a good time together. i inevitably laugh harder the weekends we do this than i do in just about any other situation.
the weather was incredible and balmy ~ up to 80 degrees! unseasonable for october. the big change seems to be focused on all of us getting more exercise than we used to.  victoria and i went hiking in the morning when renee went biking. then when kerry and jenny joined us in the evening we went out hiking again as a fivesome. happiness is walking out under the moonlight with friends, singing silly songs and cracking wise-ass jokes. renee was the biggest badass and went out running this morning while i made coffee and helped strike victoria's tent.

the dyeing the other ladies did turned out beautiful. we are all better for weekends like this. maybe this next year we will get off our butts and plan earlier so that we can do it more than once during the season.